Legal Jargon Fan Gifts

'So it's agreed, party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'The larky templar toed with the yobbo.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

I protest the fact that the district attorney is speaking in a foreign language I can't understand, your honor. A foreign language? Legalese.

'Your uncle left everything to Charity... So far we haven't been able to locate her.'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"Quick! Get down to legal! The boilerplate has sprung a leak."

'We need our lawyers to perform CPR on this group...Confuse, Perplex and Rattle.'

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

"I'm a lawyer of 20 years standing...!"

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'