Legal Jargon Enthusiasts Gifts

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"

"Sir, it's unusual to use the word 'wazzock' in a legal document."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'I got my foot in the door...at a price!'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'