Lover Of Legal Lingo Gifts

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

I protest the fact that the district attorney is speaking in a foreign language I can't understand, your honor. A foreign language? Legalese.

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

"I'm a lawyer of 20 years standing...!"

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'

'So it's agreed, party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'