Law Lingo Lover Gifts

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Stop and Birch

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

Upholding the Law

Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

Clarence Thomas

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"