Law Lingo Lover Pillows

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

Upholding the Law

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay

Clarence Thomas

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"