Legal Lingo Lover Gifts

'His lawyer wants his time-out reduced to ten minutes, time served.'

"See, it's right here in the pre-nup. If you walk out, I get two weeks' severance sex."

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"I had no idea 'No Contest' is the equivelant of a guilty plea."

'We happen to need someone with your particular area of expertise to interpret the company's contract language.'

"He was someone you had to light a fire under in order to get anything done."

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'When you talk about my 'debt to society', I thought that only referred to criminals.'

"Ron, please give me your opinion of my letter to the shareholders, vis-a-vis readability, credibility and indictability!"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

I protest the fact that the district attorney is speaking in a foreign language I can't understand, your honor. A foreign language? Legalese.

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'