Lover Of Legal Lingo T-Shirts

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

"I'm a lawyer of 20 years standing...!"

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'So it's agreed, party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'

'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'