Legal Jargon Lovers T-Shirts

"The language in this contract is wordy and indirect, and uses unnecessary technical words and phrases. I'm very impressed."

'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'Your uncle left everything to Charity... So far we haven't been able to locate her.'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'We need our lawyers to perform CPR on this group...Confuse, Perplex and Rattle.'

'Was he downsized?'

'So it's agreed, party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'It's Cornell from accounting, sir. He just wants to touch base with you.'