Legal Lingo Enthusiast T-Shirts

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

'Your uncle left everything to Charity... So far we haven't been able to locate her.'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'We need our lawyers to perform CPR on this group...Confuse, Perplex and Rattle.'

'By sequestered', does that mean we're going to be locked up before the defendant is...?'

'So it's agreed, party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'

"I'm a lawyer of 20 years standing...!"