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'A lawyer orders lunch.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

They Are Not Going to Take Me

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Baby's first words.

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."