Laziness Philosopher Gifts

'No - I would hardly describe myself as that. . .No let us simply say I am biding my time until something turns up. . . Yes, I surprise 'Slob' would be the best word in the long run.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

At the 2021 Religious Games

Homo Zapiens

Ultra-lazy sloth

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I want to work from home!"

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

Couch potato thinks: 'This sure beats having a life.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"When good hamsters go bad."

'Call me lazy if you want, but I wouldn't trade my life with anybody else's...'

"Sixteen geo-coordinated gadgets and still you're late."

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."