Laziness Appreciators Gifts

Teenage Sloth: 'My parents say I'm dead lazy. They're very proud.'

Police Feline Unit

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Homo Zapiens

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Ultra-lazy sloth

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I want to work from home!"

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

'Lethargy is a sign of depression? No wonder we sloths have never gotten anywhere.'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

Couch potato thinks: 'This sure beats having a life.'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

Self-Walking Legs

"They both like to have their stomachs scratched."

"That's alright, I'll keep you company: I'm not in a hurry to get to school..."