Laziness Enthusiasts Gifts

'Don't push it, son. You can't become a couch potato until you've mastered being a chair spud.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Ultra-lazy sloth

Homo Zapiens

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I want to work from home!"

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

Fetch the Boomerang

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

Crumbs of Comfort

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

Couch potato thinks: 'This sure beats having a life.'

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

"I'm not sure where Larry stands on the issues but I sure know where he sits!"

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

'I want to be a philosopher Mum: Lots of thinking and no physical work...'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"I don't have to fetch his slippers anymore. His drone does it."