Lawsuit Settlement Gifts

'Good news Mrs. Gibson: Novox Liposuction Inc. has agreed to settle out of court'.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'What'll it be?'

Occupy Budget Balancing

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'This is your lucky day!'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"He said his first word today - compensation."

The Washington Arbitrators

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Lawyer

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'This next song is for my ex-wife, because she owns it and collects all the royalties.'

"S this is how you settle out of court."

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

"First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit."

Who to Sue Today.

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"