Lawsuit Settlement Gifts

'Good news Mrs. Gibson: Novox Liposuction Inc. has agreed to settle out of court'.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'What'll it be?'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'This is your lucky day!'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

The Washington Arbitrators

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

"He said his first word today - compensation."

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

"First we sue the guy who saved your life. We'll file a no-class-action suit."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"S this is how you settle out of court."

'This next song is for my ex-wife, because she owns it and collects all the royalties.'

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

Who to Sue Today.

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.