Lawn Maintenance Gifts

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

Bob's new year's resolution was to give up his obnoxious, monstrous, macho streak...he vowed to ditch the leaf blower!

"You may want to check on your smart mower. It's a little off course!"

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

The Scottish Lawn

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

"Ah the sound of the first lawn mower"

Grades of booze

'Lost your lawnmower, old man?'

Pesticide

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

Hybrid Tea

Hardy Annuals

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

August: An all out effort will be needed to keep control now. You should not have booked your holiday this month.

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

Phlox

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Yardless: Please help

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Lawnmower

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"