Lawn Care Gifts

Lawrence of Suburbia

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Woman coaxing husband into mowing lawn by dangling a bottle of beer in front of him.

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

"Lawn care has been good to us, Ed."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

Weed Wackers

'By the time I get the mower working my weekend is over!'

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

Brad doesn't know what to do with himself this time of year. He's lost between snowblowing and lawnmowing.

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

Recognising obsessive behaviour.

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Well, Mrs. Farnsworth, I'm afraid you've got Druids!'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Labour saving, my foot! I've spent all morning trying to get it started!'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

The world's first riding lawn mower.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Borrow my fire extinguisher Gee, I don't know, Ted,,, You still haven't returned the weed-whacker I lent you'

Biker Lawn Mower

"If he can't get Yard of the Month, he'd rather just burn it."

'Looks like your lawn is getting a little long. Trouble getting the mower started?' 'Trouble getting the husband started.'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

'OK... I know that lawnmower's in here somewhere...'

"Must get a longer cable."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

"You called for lawn service?"

Hearing the sound of the first lawnmower of spring

"I've discovered why it isn't cutting the grass properly - it's a vacuum cleaner."