Lawn Care Gifts

Lawrence of Suburbia

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Woman coaxing husband into mowing lawn by dangling a bottle of beer in front of him.

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Lawn care has been good to us, Ed."

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Recently retired, Janet Moo-ray not only discovers the grass isn't greener on the other side...it requires a lot of mowing.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

Weed Wackers

'By the time I get the mower working my weekend is over!'

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

Brad doesn't know what to do with himself this time of year. He's lost between snowblowing and lawnmowing.

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

Recognising obsessive behaviour.

'Well, Mrs. Farnsworth, I'm afraid you've got Druids!'

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Labour saving, my foot! I've spent all morning trying to get it started!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

The world's first riding lawn mower.

'I cut the grass once, but it grew again.'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

'Looks like your lawn is getting a little long. Trouble getting the mower started?' 'Trouble getting the husband started.'

Compass needed to navigate lawn mower in long grass.

Lawn mower breaking kit

"I've found the lawnmower."

Lawn service conspiracy.