Lawn Chair Aficionado Gifts

"You're very tight."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Tilly Slowboy

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Just the slippers is fine!"

You can't get what up

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

Beware of the Lawn

'What, They're comfortable.'

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

Introverted Chair

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Reserved Parking

Skier.

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Stan couldn't be bothered to stand up – yet hated being talked down to.

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.