Law Upholder Gifts

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"#notguilty."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Stop and Birch

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

Violent Crime Statistics

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

"They're class action figures."

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."