Tradition Upholders Gifts

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Folk Wedding

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"I'm getting too old for this..."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

Scot holding a heart.

Maypole

Shall I be mother?

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'