Laughing Philosopher Pillows

"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Zenemies.

At the 2021 Religious Games

Optimist

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"What if it's smarter than us?"

The Meaning of Life

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Seneca

Human meat.

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'I had multiple personalities.'