Laughing At Layoffs Gifts

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

Very Difficult Conversations

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

Looks like another profit's warning

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

"The good news is that I'm still here after the boss cut our department by 33 percent."

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

What Bob thought outside the box.

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

By camouflaging himself, Ed was able to avoid being a victim of the company's massive layoffs.

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Maybe we should've done layoffs after the holiday party."

The 12 Days of Covidmas

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

'Relax, I'm not here for you. Just for your job.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.'

"But I was told this was included in my severance package."

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"I'm not good at confrontation, so unscramble this phrase in your head for a surprise message."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm the one with his head in a pelvic vice!'

'Sorry, Tantor -- we're downsizing.'

'The destiny of untrained seals'

"That's life in the corporate world. Yesterday I was the company's 'go-to' guy, and today, I'm the 'you go too,' guy!"

"What makes you think there are going to be layoffs."

Boss leads employee away to fire him.

'My boss said they might be laying off more people next week...what wine goes best with panic?'