Laugh Collector Pillows

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Snowprov

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

The Rooster Comedian.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Banana Split...

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Useless add-ons.

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Eat me"