Collector Of Laughs Pillows

'The only pictures I carry of my loved ones in my wallet are the 20, 50 and 100 dollar bills.'

Customs and Examinations.

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Bert's dog training.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

The Rooster Comedian.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Eat me"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Useless add-ons.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Snowmobull

E-Baying @ The Moon

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

Suffering from Cooties?