Late-night Scrambler Gifts

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Questions

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

Scarecrow.

Mouse shopping after hours

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

Diet Enforcer

Wife uses guillotine to trap husband sneaking in late at night.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock