Late-night Scrambler Pillows

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Questions

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Scarecrow.

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

Wife uses guillotine to trap husband sneaking in late at night.

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

Diet Enforcer

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock