Laser Sword Lover Gifts

Epic Battles

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Pub Kendo.

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Fencing Lessons

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Battle.

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

"Did you enter the correct password?"