Lab Mishap Laugher Gifts

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Coast to coast.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

A combustion of chemists

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

'Surprisingly enough, this is in the range of acceptable risk.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

Escaping surgery.

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

"Well, the satnav said turn left."

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

Bird Pool