Laboratory Laugher Gifts

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

Quantum Mechanics.

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

"Admittedly, our research went astray but getting more funding should be easier now."

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Nature Scents Research Department.

The take your mother to work program.

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

Coast to coast.

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

'We took some DNA from a woolly mammoth hair, and all we got from it was some more woolly mammoth hair.'

'Gee! I think we have the new sex-pill!'

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'Keep this to yourself, Henderson, this will fund our research for the next ten years!'