Lab Work Laugher Gifts

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'ADN'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'It keeps me sane!'

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

"Can't find your office, doc?"

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

Microscope slide

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

"The hardest part was teaching him to use the hedge trimmers."

Progress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

Eureka or else! The management

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

P.D.M. - Public Display of Mitosis

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'It's all right.. he's a trustee.'

Lab tech tosses hypodermic needles at dartboard.

Coast to coast.

"His is a thought experiment."

Jim's Mowing Services

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'