Knitting Guru Gifts

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

'So much for intuition! You've knitted them all in the wrong colour!'

Cat Knitting a Tapestry

"That's not how mom counts. It's like this: knit one, purl one, RIP out one."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Keeping warm.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"That shirt is so last year."

His and Her wardrobe's