Knitting Guru T-Shirts

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

'So much for intuition! You've knitted them all in the wrong colour!'

Cat Knitting a Tapestry

"That's not how mom counts. It's like this: knit one, purl one, RIP out one."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Keeping warm.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"That shirt is so last year."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'