Garnishing Guru T-Shirts

Unfortunately, Bob was a sucker for good presentation...

Tartine

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'She's so put together!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Keeping warm.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Oh Hi!'

"Be creative...!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

"Absolutely not!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Mr Metrosexual.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."