Garnishing Guru Gifts

Unfortunately, Bob was a sucker for good presentation...

Tartine

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Keeping warm.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Absolutely not!"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'Oh Hi!'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'