Kneading Guru Gifts

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

Tartine

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Oh Hi!'

'I could do that.'

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

The Rise of Modern Art

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"welcome man cave."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

Quiz Night...

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Creative accounting.

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'Tell us what you've done with all the grass!'

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."