Needlework Guru Gifts

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

I quilt therefore I am

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Arts and crafts

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

octopus knitting a jumper...

Acupuncture clinic

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

Cat Knitting a Tapestry

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

"How may I hurt you?"

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"Nana" Technology

Bless this horse

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Maid with her sewing basket

Multitasking

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

Acupuncture darts.

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"