Needlework Gifts

Needle Exchange

Needlework for beginners.

'I want to return this yarn you sold my wife.'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

"Not much of a conversation piece, is it?"

Clergyman's wife telling a pupil off for not being diligent

'Nice needlework, dear, but we don't need a bigger house.'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

Needle work for beginners.

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

I love embroidery

Fisherman mending his net.

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Bless this horse

Bee reads paper under sign: 'Comb Sweet Comb'

octopus knitting a jumper...

Maid with her sewing basket

Sewing Buddies

"It's a sampler, like everything else in my life."

'Needlepoint Viewpoint.'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

A needlepoint message to free Martha Stewart.

Sheep knitting using its own wool.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

A couple deciding whether to enter their puppy into a dog show

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

I quilt therefore I am

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Arts and crafts

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'