Kitsch Connoisseur Gifts

'Sir, the enemy developed a weapon that will wipe out all culture except for elevator music and black velvet paintings.'

Marjorie decided to sue the greeting card company for using her image without permission.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Choose, Fenster

Imagine

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"I'd say business was brisk."

'It's Blurred.'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

'Picasso'

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Sleigh Ride

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

Masterpiece?

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson