Crafty Connoisseur Gifts

"Some Things Are Better Left Unembroidered"

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

"I'm making a candlewick spread, so how do I get the wicks out?"

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

Imagine

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Whittler's Mother.

Posh Easter Egg

"She's a natural!"

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"It's called 'Sold'."

About the potter.

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"Who's the artist?"

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'