Crafty Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Some Things Are Better Left Unembroidered"

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

"I'm making a candlewick spread, so how do I get the wicks out?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"He's an abstract artist."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Imagine

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Whittler's Mother.

"She's a natural!"

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

Posh Easter Egg

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

About the potter.

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"It's called 'Sold'."

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Who's the artist?"

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Artisanal Pottery

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'