Kitsch Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Sir, the enemy developed a weapon that will wipe out all culture except for elevator music and black velvet paintings.'

Marjorie decided to sue the greeting card company for using her image without permission.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Imagine

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Choose, Fenster

"I'd say business was brisk."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'It's Blurred.'

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

'Picasso'

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

Masterpiece?

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Sleigh Ride

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

The violin lesson

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'