Collecting Kitsch Gifts

"I'm sorry, Steve, I was only dating you for the kitsch value."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"I'd say business was brisk."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"Well, they look friendly enough."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

Potatoes.

'The stuff legends are made of'

Jack and the Beanie stock.

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

'Stampede!!'

An old shoe in every bag!