Kink Connoisseur Gifts

What Foot Fetishists See

'Oh baby, you're so kinky!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Choose, Fenster

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'It's Blurred.'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Sleigh Ride

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"They swabbed and tested every kissed ass in the firm, and Orlitzky's DNA was a perfect match."

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson

A guy is looking at his car that's about to go over some falls.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Binocular, infra-red camera, directional microphone: Let's go and do some stalking...'

"Well, technically, he's supposed to draw the sword from the stone....but I'm not going to argue the point."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

"For goodness sake, Todd, you can't expect me to fly south for the whole winter without bringing a few things!"

'An indecisive pointer.'

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical