Kitchen Disaster Fan Pillows

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Desert Island Mishap

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

It's all gravy.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

A shark swims into a desert island.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."