Kitchen Disaster Fan Pillows

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Desert Island Mishap

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

It's all gravy.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Shall I kiss it better?"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Is it still edible?'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

A shark swims into a desert island.

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Singing in the rain...

'How was the snapper, sir?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."