Disaster Fan Pillows

"Yippee! I'm right!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Desert Island Mishap

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

"There goes our early night."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

A cock up of builders

It's all gravy.

"Shall I kiss it better?"

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the earth."

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

Head in the sand.

A shark swims into a desert island.

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'Before I bring it in,darling-don't forget you married JANIE Oliver and not Jamie!'

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

'Keep going...the future of trite metaphors depends on us.'

The tip of the iceberg

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

Flood Ready Cows

Saving the leaf.

'Actually, I don't think any safety program would have caught this one,'

"I know they say a bad workman always blames his tools but - a faulty plumbline!!"

"I had a little fender bender on the way home. The fender is in 6th Ave., the bumper on the 5th ave, the door on 4th and the hood around the corner."

Man hitting himself in the head with a hammer.

'This is the place, Fred!'

"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."