Disaster Prevention Fan Pillows

'We need to be more proactive less reactive.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Desert Island Mishap

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

"Shall I kiss it better?"

'It's an old work injury.'

'I always wanted two lips!' Why the chicken crossed the road.

421AD...north east Italy

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

Fire Assembly Point

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

Broken down ambulance means horse and man have to carry stretcher

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

Head in the sand.

A shark swims into a desert island.

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

Singing in the rain...

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

"Quick... STOP, DROP & ROLL!"

Welcome to the middle class Jer$ey $hore!'

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

'I told you not to play with matches.'

Flood Ready Cows

Betty liked to use safety glasses

"Easy does it, Ralph."

Oog's Fire Shop. Would you be interested in a maintenance agreement?

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

"Henry's always on call!"

"I know they say a bad workman always blames his tools but - a faulty plumbline!!"

'Oh they needed a light from you, did they? For the last time, don't ever play with matches!'

"I had a little fender bender on the way home. The fender is in 6th Ave., the bumper on the 5th ave, the door on 4th and the hood around the corner."