Kinksters Gifts

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"...now she's up tp a jumper a week."

So, do you have any hidden talents?

River Source

sub woofer

Peg Party.

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

'Jeez, honey! I thought we agreed not to bring our work home with us.'

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

"The job will demand a touch of crazy, but no experience is necessary...we'll train you!"

"Please listen carefully, as my menu options have changed."

"It might be a traffic cone to you sir, but it happens to be my favourite."

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

'And do you, Donna, promise to love, honor, cherish... and from time to time, upon request, whip the living shit out of this man?'

'Expecting someone, are we?'

"Alexa, tell me I'm a bad girl."

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

"Permission to treat the witness like gum stuck to the bottom of my heels?"