Kinkster Gifts

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"Have I got a girl for you!"

"The Safety Word is 'Owwwwwwwwwww!'"

P.B. and J. and S&M.

"What are you wearing?"

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

"Good grief, it's not Thursday already, is it?"

"The wife and I have been practicing safer sex. I still find it a bit dangerous but we're making real progress."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'Mr. Simmons, we've been asked by the entire world to make you wear these.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

River Source

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

So, do you have any hidden talents?

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

Peg Party.

sub woofer

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

'Jeez, honey! I thought we agreed not to bring our work home with us.'

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

"The job will demand a touch of crazy, but no experience is necessary...we'll train you!"

"Please listen carefully, as my menu options have changed."

"It might be a traffic cone to you sir, but it happens to be my favourite."

'And do you, Donna, promise to love, honor, cherish... and from time to time, upon request, whip the living shit out of this man?'

'Expecting someone, are we?'

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

"Alexa, tell me I'm a bad girl."