Kinkster Gifts

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"Have I got a girl for you!"

"The Safety Word is 'Owwwwwwwwwww!'"

P.B. and J. and S&M.

"What are you wearing?"

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

Who's ready for pumpkin spice season?

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

"What's our password, dear?"

"Good grief, it's not Thursday already, is it?"

"The wife and I have been practicing safer sex. I still find it a bit dangerous but we're making real progress."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'Mr. Simmons, we've been asked by the entire world to make you wear these.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

So, do you have any hidden talents?

River Source

Why men love to love women who love to lambaste their loving lovers,

He's not going to say anything. He just likes to lick his glove.

Peg Party.

Does this restaurant allow substitutions? Menu. If we did, do you think you'd be sitting here right now?

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

'Jeez, honey! I thought we agreed not to bring our work home with us.'

sub woofer

Garden spade and fork shaped like a knife and fork.

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."