Kink Gifts

A human carriage ride.

"Have I got a girl for you!"

'Expecting someone, are we?'

'And do you, Donna, promise to love, honor, cherish... and from time to time, upon request, whip the living shit out of this man?'

'Oh baby, you're so kinky!'

"I'm afraid it's not working for me Gerald!"

"I accidentally double-booked the swingers' festival with the vintage steam rally."

S and M institute

Bob got off with a simple slap on the wrist.

Man locked in latex costume

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'We had a whip round.'

'Not today - it's a spank holiday.'

"No, it's not a sex thing."

"But mainly I wear it to protect myself against identity theft."

"Alexa, tell me I'm a bad girl."

There Will Always Be Someone Kinkier Than Your Vanilla Ass

Dominatrix

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

"We have an arrangement."

"Permission to treat the witness like gum stuck to the bottom of my heels?"

P.B. and J. and S&M.

"Ours is not a creative clan."

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'I've changed my mind Donald. I don't want to put a little spice back into our marriage anymore.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'Excuse me, what do you wear under your kilt?' - 'Shoes and socks.'