King Of The Hill Gifts

'And now, some public service announcements....'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

The Unhappy King

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Royal Wii

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'