King Of Hearts Gifts

The Bachelord

'Is the pilot an Ace?'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

King of Music.

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

King completes rubik's cube.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'It's just until the election is over, but I'm replacing you with Dick Morris.'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Coastguard